Elf Gerbil

1/5 #elfgerbil As Gertrude the gerbil lay in her elf bed She pondered her life, inside her elf head Making all things for the children to play with and enjoy, How could she gift NFTs, they weren’t really a toy? 2/5 With the pandemic persistent, and social distance a thing. Gertrude drummed up a plan as joyous as she. She'd gift the kids kitties, of the crypto kind Giving out fancies for all of them to find 3/5 Waking up on Christmas day, checking their latest breeds They'd find all the gifted fancies, running through their feeds Gertrude was pleased , but what fancies would she use? She'd have to call her friend, favorite streamer @rudem00se! 4/5 They picked out the fancies each kid would like best. And sent them on their way, she really was impressed. On Christmas Day , as fancies found new owners, @rudem00se was pleased, at what Gertrude had shown her 5/5 That elf gerbils really are the most giving of creatures, and to top it all off, Gertrude rocked some cool sneakers!

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@NonFunGerbils It’s Christmas Eve & times running out. Dawn approaches, It’s Christmas! Santa Shouts. A bitcoin for Billy, an Ether for Lester. I need an elf to help me deliver. The rising sun beams as he approaches with a grin. It’s none other then Lucky the elf, to help save the day again.

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1/5 #ElfGerbil He was furry, for an elf. Every week he'd get in trouble for gnawing on the presents from the workshop (he couldn't help himself!) and his toy output was abysmal. All the other elves tried to help him out, but his little arms and big round belly made him too slow. 2/5 #ElfGerbil One day he knew he couldn't take it any more, so he ran away from home and ventured into the cold beyond the North Pole. He tried to dig through the snow looking for cookies and hot cocoa, but found only more cold, cold snow so he wandered further and further. 3/5 #ElfGerbil In time, the elf found his way into the magical land of Vancouver, Canada. Half-frozen and three-quarters starving, he sought refuge in a public library. He read over a patron's shoulder a Tweet—a woman was looking for artists to create digital Christmas presents! 4/5 #ElfGerbil Elf Gerbil logged on to a computer and found that he had a strong affinity with the mouse. He created crypto art and found the Tweet, then submitted his creation. And a Christmas Miracle happened: It was accepted, and he received magical internet money in return! 5/5 #ElfGerbil The next year, he was crypto famous, living comfortably. Santa came knocking to ask the elf to return to the North Pole and teach all the other elves how to make blockchain-backed digital presents for all the good boys and girls. It was the best Christmas ever!

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1/2 Elf Gerbil was the smallest gerbil of his family, quite the misfit. He was always treated like a runt & no one paid him any attention. So he left. He noticed an ad in the paper looking for someone to make toys. The factory was in the North Pole, a long journey for the little guy. 2/2 So off he went & the rest barely realized he was gone. But he made it to the factory safe & sound & he saw many others, just like him: misfits. But not here. Everyone here fit in perfectly. Everybody was happy & Elf Gerbil was welcomed happily! This was his dream come true.

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@NonFunGerbils #ElfGerbil checked his notes. The instructions from Santa was simple enough: "Everything up". He gazed at the World machine control board and started to hit the buttons. Hopefully this would do the trick.

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1/5 #ElfGerbil ❄️The winter holiday season is full of magic and wonder, extending between the physical and digital realms. ✨ 🎉Such cheer and joy for all, every gerbil - big and small! 🤔Just take a minute to imagine it: 2/5 #ElfGerbil 🧦Stockings overflowing, oh so many seeds and tokens! 🎄An abundance of trees decorated in popcorn and other sweet snacks. 🔥Cozy fires and yule logs to keep spirits high and toes toasty. 🎁And the gifts... such beautiful wrapping paper and ribbons and bows! 3/5 #ElfGerbil ⁉️ But wait - every #ElfGerbil knows, deep down, that it's a trap! 🔎The picture-perfect never-visible tape lines that are *not* present on the presents, at the overlaps and folds of the wrapping paper, reveal everything you need to know. 4/5 #ElfGerbil ⚠️You see, it involves the most dangerous material and precarious process of all - far beyond even dark magic in terms of the risks. 😢One small slip, even a single mis-step, and a gerbil is stuck forever. 5/5 #ElfGerbil 🎁Of course, you don't get perfectly wrapped gifts without the use of... ⚠️DOUBLE-SIDED STICKY TAPE! ⚠️

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Orders in orders out a little helper always works out. Elf is his name, he's a hedger; be careful he owns the ledger! Whales want to double spend, Elf won't let them to attend. Oh! A big transaction coming in, Elf is happy let him win.

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“It was the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring not even a….” Stop right there. Enough is enough. Elf Gerbil was not having a bar of that stuff. Every single Christmas, the same old cheer the mouse, the partridge and the freakin’ reindeer! The Gerbil? Nothing. Nada. Zip. Not this Christmas. No way. Get a grip. Elf Gerbil sent a warning to each girl and each boy - “Hail the Gerbil to receive your toy” Suddenly, Gerbil-fever takes hold, the streets ring with songs, lo and behold: “Round yon Gerbil, Mother and Child Holy Rodent so tender and mild’ Elf Gerbil delights, Gerbil love all around. Scurrying to Santa, to share what he’d found. Viva la Gerbil, they had finally been seen! Christmas this year, a rodent’s dream. So little children, for Christmas this year, it’s time to start spreading some ol’ Gerbil cheer!

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ElfGerbil can't use twitter as Santa banned social media in the run-up to christmas. He asked me to send this audio description of himself by his new friend Flaz Jr

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