Farmer Gerbil

@NonFunGerbils Farmer Gerbil had a pool DeFi Defi Oh! And in that pool arrived 3 bots Sell High, Buy Low, Go! With the #UNII coin here And the #RARI coin there Here a bot, there a bot Everywhere a bot bot Farmer Gerbil had a pool filled with $WHALE coin - hodl!

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1/2 Geoffrey refused to get his paws dirty. "I'll never be a farmer like you, dad!" he'd often say to his disappointed parents. 2/2 Years later, Geoffrey's father, #farmergerbil, died. At the reading of the will, he found that his dad had left a small fortune, all to his little brother. "No Fair! How did get so rich?" Geoffrey cried. "Farming," His brother replied, taking a bite $SUSHI.

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@NonFunGerbils Old McGerbil had a farm, DeFi, DeFi, oh! And on his farm he had some coins, DeFi, DeFi, oh! With a $MEME coin here, And a $GHST coin there, Here a $WHALE, $RARI too, Even got a $WAIFU, Old McGerbil had a farm, DeFi, DeFi, oh! #farmergerbil

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@NonFunGerbils #FarmerGerbil This is a fast story about farmer gerbil, before that he was a regular guy from Ohio, always behind his screen , coding. One day he got a special mail, a real one from the real world. A little curious he opened it, and... what... seeds ? After an extensive farming online course, He decide to plant them. But one day he read a news alert and discovered many across the USA did received these strange seeds. FDA, FBI said it was prohibited to plant them and people were invite to report any strange mail, so they can destruct them, the environmental risk where so high that a collective hysteria start to rise, people said you could go to jail. This day farmer gerbil life change, he couldn't afford going to jail, coding time are so precious. He destroyed the growing plant, thought real life farming sucks and his too dangerous, got behind his screen and start coding what would be the first Defi farming Token. YAM.

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@NonFunGerbils (1/2) #FarmerGerbil was sad as he stood in his field of failing crops, the summer was over and he had no returns from this year’s hard work. With hope he checked his ETH wallet to see what he could cash out.

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1/6 #FarmerGerbil @NonFunGerbils Farmer Gerbil went to town. There they chose him a name - Ehlronia. At first he drank himself a coffee, a refreshing change from the herbal infusions his grandma kept feeding him when he was busy picking apples. 2/6 #FarmerGerbil @NonFunGerbils Ehlronia loves muchness. Cookies made life miserable for him. The hoeing village always treated him like an ancient-in town he met his own kind. They were all busy reading strange kind of news, experiencing contagion instead of counting stars. 3/6 #FarmerGerbil @NonFunGerbils Then there were those darn marshmallows, that seemed to speak to him when least expected. 4/6 #FarmerGerbil @NonFunGerbils Then there was that matters of the hoeing country mice to be killed. So Ehlronia adopted a kitten from the pet friendly cafe in town. 5/6 #FarmerGerbil @NonFunGerbils His flamethrower had to be borrowed and gone to an icy cold place, for they needed warmth, and Ehlronia's other Gerbil friend had had a great crop of pears. 6/6 #FarmerGerbil @NonFunGerbils This being said Ehlronia came back to the village quite happy with kitteh toebean' and friends without any reaction.

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1/4 @NonFunGerbils #Farmergerbil looked at the package of artificial fertilizer he'd just bought on the internet. 100X growth enhancer. The instructions seemed simple enough: "Sprinkle thinly on dry earth over newly sown seeds". The list of warnings though... 2/4: "Never use without proper protecting gear. Don't get in touch with direct sunlight. Don't expose to water. Don't inhale. Don't get in direct contact with skin or eyes." And so on for another ten pages. He skimmed fast through 3/4: Until he came to the end of it: "If these precautions are not followed, there's severe risk of: Instant combustion. spontaneous mutations. Irrational itching. Tail knotting. Earth implosions. Expected success rate <10%. All use is on own risk. " 4/4: The #Farmergerbil made the calculations quickly in his head. This was a no-brainer. He fired up the fertilizer spreader and emptied the whole bag into it.

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Rumor has it that Farmer Gerbil is the son of two gerbil cousins. It’s a small town. He’s a shit speller too. “STRAWBERRYIELD” is scrawled on the beaten up piece of wood signposting his patch. He is a rodent of mystery. Perceived as an outcast farmer living a solitary existence. Farmer Gerbil appears to take solace in his love of LPs. Unlike his familial relations, his collection is diverse. Bob Marley and the Whale-rs, DeF-i-Leppard and Straight Outta COMPton, to name but a few. Farmer Gerbil dances like no one is watching. And the reality is – no one is watching. The villagers snigger at the inbred farmer with questionable musical taste and dancing ability. But Farmer Gerbil has the last laugh [insert evil laugh]…. Herein lies the untold. Decentralised from the world, unbeknown to the gossip mongers, this village enigma is the cream of his crop. Farmer Gerbil merengues through the land of the Jaredites. Where bounties await and gerbil pharaohs feed on grapes from gerbil cleopatras. An abundance of fruits squirreled away. "Be not deceived: for whatsoever a gerbil soweth, that shall he also reap.”

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Maxis was his father name later to be confused with something unthought at that time... It was 1993 and he was born into an 8-bit world. Those where the hard times, as he couldn't talk to anyone. Growing older he was introduced to networking and something big happened. His village became a ville and everyone started tapping on him like crazy. Click , tap, click, tap, click, tap, OMG! ZYNGGG! Who knew that those taps made him so famous. By the time he got to enjoy his publicity a loud BEEEEEP was heard. Accidentally a barcode scanner scanned his head. The monitor showed $$$MOON$$$ and immediately realized that his net worth was in the Guzillions range. People stopped taping and clicking on him. Instead they trusted him with everything they had. And since then he has been farming anything imaginable from coins to tokens to memes...

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Farmer gerbil lead a life of simplicity. Wake up, have a cup of joe, till the yams, plant the PASTAS (Purely Apples to Apples branded seedlings), and checkin' in on ol' Betty. Anyone came a'knockin' at his door, he'd always have them leave with a smile... and of course a few o' dem rice bags they always a wantin' fer der sushis or whatevers. It was just any other day in the life of a farmer.

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Degen DeFi guy: Morning sir, could we purchase some $bree from you? #FarmerGerbil: We gots no bree but we do makes some fine cheese Degen DeFi guy: $cheese? What's that, a new token? #FarmerGerbil: Token? Er it's mature and strong Degen DeFi guy: Sounds good. Is there a Uniswap pair? #FarmerGerbil: Beg pardon? We don't grow pears. Degen DeFi guy: What's the liquidity of $cheese? #FarmerGerbil: Well you gots to keep it chilled Degen DeFi guy: You mean locked up? #FarmerGerbil: Beg pardon? Degen DeFi guy: Sorry, you are a YIELD farmer? #FarmerGerbil: What's that then? Degen DeFi guy: You know, putting crypto assets to work to generate returns on those assets potentially earning bonuses in the form of governance tokens and suchlike #FarmerGerbil: GET ORF MY LAAAANDD!!

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