Censored Gerbil

#CensoredGerbil is a very very famous gerbil, now, nobody knows his name right? Yeah, nobody knows his name, so he just goes by CG, Censored Gerbil. Now, CG gets up to a lot with the rich and famous and shameless. People we all know who they are but we don’t know their names, because the Censored Gerbil keeps it. So, you know, it’s like he has a slogan - doesn’t he have a slogan? - Yeah, ‘Whatever Happens in the Tube, Stays in the Tube’. That’s his slogan, that’s his saying right? So that's all we know about the Censored Gerbil, but it’s actually a thing!

View full entry →

Chilly the #CensoredGerbil was miserable. He'd been born with a strange malady. Any time he tried to say something nice about anyone, his vocal chords would constrict and he'd spit out a black bar. People would get offended, assuming the worst. This made the gerbil retreat into himself, afraid to even say anything to anyone lest he be misunderstood. One day, he witnessed a crime being committed by a famous gerbil. He considered going to the authorities, but remembered his last interaction with law enforcement resulted in him being left beaten on the side of the road. He decided against reporting the incident. Years later, that small-handed famous gerbil became president of the United Gerbils of Gerbilland and Chilly could only watch passively on television as he led the country into ruin.

View full entry →

Censorsed Gerbil, brave and bold, Unveiled the secrets that were told, But her words were hushed, no light unfurled, The seed phrase of the crypto world. In the shadows, she stood her ground, Seeking truth in words profound, Silenced whispers, yet undeterred, Censorsed Gerbil, the truth she stirred.

View full entry →

1/2 #CensoredGerbil woke up one BEEP morning in his BEEP BEEP and went to get himself some BEEP and a cup of BEEP. Then he took his BEEP to BEEP and parked outside a BEEP bookstore. He went inside and walked straight to the BEEP BEEP. 2/2 There he picked up a book with the cover "Censorship resistant journal". With some luck, we will find out what he actually do tomorrow.

View full thread →

1/3 Julian the #CensoredGerbil couldn't remain silent about the wrongs he saw in the world. His exposés and protests soon attracted the attention of the censors, who began to gradually unpick and unravel his life, sending him tailspinning down the memory hole. 2/3 Julian tried to shout and scream, but alas, the censors had sewn his big gerbil mouth shut. No records remain of Julian ever existing. In fact, some doubt that there ever was such a gerbil. 3/3 To prevent the seditious myth of Julian from corrupting the youth, the censors enacted harsh punishments against all who speak his name. Despite this, those who listen carefully may occasionally hear the story of Julian the #CensoredGerbil whispered through the underground.

View full thread →

Betsy Gerbil was a stunner, she made a living shaking her tail. The bad banks did not approve, and froze her out 😱 Now, this didn’t stop Betsy - she saw the demand & knew her worth. She squeaked a few bleeps and moved right over to minting her #CensoredGerbil tail on ETH 😉

View full entry →

1/7 In the shadowy groves of Crypto-Land, where trees contort like twisted market charts, our naive gerbil heroine, Cinna, embarks on a risky venture into a centralized exchange. Unbeknownst to her, hidden perils lurk. 2/7 Whispers of caution echo from her gerbil pals, murmuring of dark secrets veiled within the exchange. Cinna, cloaked in her so-called 'invincibility' (resembling a tattered napkin), dismisses these warnings with a bold grin, eyes sparkling with dreams of crypto glory. 3/7 Cinna, epitome of gerbil innocence, loyally frequents the exchange, oblivious to the prying eyes of the Big Bad Exchange. 4/7 Then, as suddenly as a market crash, horror strikes! The Big Bad Exchange, lurking like a troll under a bridge, freezes Cinna’s account. Their reason? Well, they're still figuring that part out. 5/7 “Where have you been scuttling, dear Cinna?” hisses the Exchange. “Fancy another trade? Simply divulge all your secrets to us - everywhere you have ever lived and worked and from where your funds originate.” 6/7 Cinna is rattled yes, but trusts her gerbil instinct and decides to leave the menacing Exchange. “Silent no more!” she proclaims, bravely leaping into the maze of decentralized financ​e​ with its bridges, slippage, and gas fees. 7/7 And thus, our intrepid gerbil adventurer, with whiskers quivering with newfound freedom, dashes onwards to liberation, escaping the shackles of being a #censoredgerbil, in search of her next great crypto adventure (and perhaps some cheese).

View full thread →

I walked into my favorite dive bar after a long and tiring day of work. I scanned the bar for any of the regulars with whom I could waste time and was utterly shocked to see a gerbil sitting at the bar nursing a drink, in a shot glass. The shot glass looked enormous in his tiny hands. I couldn't help myself and immediately approached the small creature. He turned his eyes to me with a look of irritated resignation and introduced himself and #CensoredGerbil. I took the stool beside and ordered my regular. I attempted to make small talk with my new acquaintance but he was not particularly interested in what I had to say. Finally, I snapped and asked, “what the fuck is your problem?” #CensoredGerbil responded with overflowing anger and obvious frustration “my problem is I can’t tell you to f**k off like I want to because I am censored. I could shoot you in the head and watch it explode and that would be fine but I can’t even see my own penis when I pee.” Finally understanding the horrible plight of my little furry drinking partner, I apologized for my outburst and his demeanor softened. He went on “I wouldn’t mind so much, somebody (usual some poor animal) must embody these monumental concepts like love, war, power and censorship. I just pulled the short straw” I was confused but attempted to respond with sympathy “why is embodying censorship so bad?” He looked at me and said “because the way humans employ censorship makes absolutely no sense. There are hateful dangerous words and ideas which probably should be censored. They rarely are. While, at the same time, natural beautiful things, like nudity, are censored because, I guess, you all are afraid of boobs (he shrugged). I should be a champion of truth and instead I am a hall monitor. It is embarrassing.” I had no comfort to offer, he was right. #CensoredGerbil swallowed down the last of his drink and began preparing to leave. I said it had been nice to meet him and I hoped he had a good night. For the first time #CensoredGerbil smiled and he said, “I will, if I get drink enough it almost looks like #MrsCensoredGerbil is naked when we make love.”

View full entry →

1/2 George the Gerbil was sat on the roadside contemplating life, in the space of 1 morning George had lost his job, his girlfriend and his apartment. And to complete the picture it started to rain. 2/2 Just then a car pulled and a friendly man offered George a ride, things are looking up thought George, thanks for the ride, 'Im George the Gerbil' 'hi George'said the man, 'I'm Richard, Richard Gere.....'

View full thread →