DorkLovesSports

#BraveNewGerbil came to herself at the beginning of a hallway, that appeared to have no end. She gazed about for a moment finding rough stone walls and a dirt floor. She only had one way to go, so her journey began. She pushed ahead investigating the rooms that appeared on either side of the hallway. She saw gerbils fighting for dominance. She was not afraid of being hurt in the fray, but she had no desire to harm others and so her journey continued. She came upon another room filled with food. She noticed some gerbils consuming food gluttonously, while others survived on scraps. She could discern no reason why some benefited more than others. She was beckoned by the gluttons to join them. She would not and so her journey continued. She investigated many rooms as she moved down the seemingly infinite hallway. Some rooms where mad eyed gerbils greedily protected shiny metals or gems. Some rooms where gerbils in blue suits, with red ties, argued endlessly about everything and accomplished nothing. As she moved down the hallway, she had many opportunities to benefit, personally, by entering a room but always the cost was too high and so her journey continued. As she traveled the hallway changed around her, stone walls gave way to concrete and then steel. The dirt floor transitioned to wood, then obsidian. Finally, she stood at another precipice as the floor turned to light and the walls gave way to an endless void. An older gerbil sat at the border, his simple wooden chair leaned against the wall as he reclined precipitously back, apparently dozing. She reached to shake him awake and his head lifted revealing a warm smile. “Haven’t found a room to your liking?” #BraveNewGerbil shook her head in the negative looking forward and back. The older gerbil said, “nothing but possibilities before you.” #BraveNewGerbil replied “Will it be better?” The older gerbil shrugged, “that is up to you! The fact that you weren’t drawn to any of the opportunities before this place gives me hope. Hope that you, and other truly brave gerbils like you, will make it better”, and so her journey continued.

I walked into my favorite dive bar after a long and tiring day of work. I scanned the bar for any of the regulars with whom I could waste time and was utterly shocked to see a gerbil sitting at the bar nursing a drink, in a shot glass. The shot glass looked enormous in his tiny hands. I couldn't help myself and immediately approached the small creature. He turned his eyes to me with a look of irritated resignation and introduced himself and #CensoredGerbil. I took the stool beside and ordered my regular. I attempted to make small talk with my new acquaintance but he was not particularly interested in what I had to say. Finally, I snapped and asked, “what the fuck is your problem?” #CensoredGerbil responded with overflowing anger and obvious frustration “my problem is I can’t tell you to f**k off like I want to because I am censored. I could shoot you in the head and watch it explode and that would be fine but I can’t even see my own penis when I pee.” Finally understanding the horrible plight of my little furry drinking partner, I apologized for my outburst and his demeanor softened. He went on “I wouldn’t mind so much, somebody (usual some poor animal) must embody these monumental concepts like love, war, power and censorship. I just pulled the short straw” I was confused but attempted to respond with sympathy “why is embodying censorship so bad?” He looked at me and said “because the way humans employ censorship makes absolutely no sense. There are hateful dangerous words and ideas which probably should be censored. They rarely are. While, at the same time, natural beautiful things, like nudity, are censored because, I guess, you all are afraid of boobs (he shrugged). I should be a champion of truth and instead I am a hall monitor. It is embarrassing.” I had no comfort to offer, he was right. #CensoredGerbil swallowed down the last of his drink and began preparing to leave. I said it had been nice to meet him and I hoped he had a good night. For the first time #CensoredGerbil smiled and he said, “I will, if I get drink enough it almost looks like #MrsCensoredGerbil is naked when we make love.”

Only one thing could have brought gerbil and humankind together. The evil we faced... That dark, almost formless, entity of pure apathy. It constantly emanated fear, uncertainty, and doubt. That thing that threatened to destroy us all. Many a brave warrior saw that evil shadow and simply left its space. But we stood with him. We followed him. We won. Thanks to, #PEPEgerbil You might be confused. I first met #PEPEgerbil in a tavern. He was not the hero from the tales then. He was a veteran soldier, from nowhere in particular. He was drunk and seemed defeated. He was to be my commanding officer in the coming conflict. He looked tired. Desperately tired. He always clutched that thing. Always in his left hand. His precious. The symbol of everything he had lost, or so he thought. He drowned his sorrows and himself. He disappeared into the bottle, I was sure all was lost. One moment we were in the tavern. The next I was “helping” #PEPEgerbil back to his room Taking off his boots because he couldn’t do it himself. Then we were in the mist of the chaos. The battle raged and our spirits broke. All I smelled was blood and sweat. I heard nothing... I saw nothing, until... I saw #PEPEgerbil fall to his knee in the mud. Something strange caught my eye. #PEPEgerbil was gazing into his open left palm. At his precious thing. I had never seen it before, or since. It was a 20-sided gem of red color. It seemed to glow from within I had never seen its like. As If that were not enough... I still struggle to believe what came next.. I know it defies reason... The reader may abandon my tale now with no judgment from me... But I tell you it was as if I was transported within the gem with him. I could clearly see a different image on each facet. Some looked like cartoon monkeys, some penguins, some things I couldn’t even pretend to identify. I was at a loss... Many years after the events I describe. I was able to ask #PEPEgerbil what had happened. He didn't talk for a long time. I was sure he had decided not to answer. He quietly said “I remembered” Every image on that polyhedron represents more than just my loses. They represent more than the rugs that were pulled from under my feet. Each image represents the memories I made collecting it. Each image represents the people I met along the way. People who supported me, taught me, pushed me. People who held me back, failed me, tricked me. Good people and bad people. I remembered that each image represented real people. People worth fighting for. We all know what happened once #PEPEgerbil looked up from that gem... The great battle turned. #PEPEgerbil rose from the mud and grime. Clutching his precious in one hand and his battle axe in the other. He charged into the fray. Followed by many. Me amongst them. The universe seemed to mark his arrival at the final confrontation with a thunderous clap. A great lightning bolt struck the ground before him as, #PEPEgerbil leapt into the air. He glided towards the darkness. A look a wild glee upon his face. #PEPEgerbil’s axe struck true as he screamed the battle cry of his people. The one we all know and repeat to this day... WE’RE ALL GONNA MAKE IT.