The_Flaz

100xLeverage Gerbil's trembling paw hovered excitedly over the 'Execute Trade' button. Relaaaax, he told himself. You've DYOR. Two separate twitter accounts had said RodentCoin was, quote 'due for a pump'! The charts dont lie they said. Something about wicks and wedges they said. Ignore that little voice whispering 'rekt...rekt...rekt'. Heroes know when to pull the trigger. Imagine yourself telling Mrs Gerbil. 'Honey, get packing, we're moving to a bigger cage. No one will mistake us for hamsters ever again'. Time to go all in. The button is pressed. Hmm, immediate big drop, 'that's normal right?', give it time. 'Hey, where's my trade??? What's this?? Alexa, what is Margin Call?'

I don't actually know #BallerGerbil but I imagine he is sitting in his cage browsing through his massive @nba_topshot collection dreaming of step back 3s, no look dimes and sick dunks. He has this on repeat https://youtu.be/ryDOy3AosBw

Unlike many, #BraveNewGerbil hasn't been hibernating during this crypto winter He's been foraging for information and storing knowledge like acorns. Now he can see the dawn and it's a glorious one. Its first rays are thawing markets and waking dormant collectors. Gonna be epic

@NonFunGerbils #CounterfeitGerbil He's a fugazi. He's a whazy. He's a woozie. He's fairy dust. He doesn't exist. He's never landed. He is not matter. He's not on the elemental chart. He's not fucking real.

ElfGerbil can't use twitter as Santa banned social media in the run-up to christmas. He asked me to send this audio description of himself by his new friend Flaz Jr

1/2 @NonFunGerbils #ElonGerbil has called GerBill Gates yet again. 'Elon, for the hundredth time. I'm well aware you overtook me on the world's richest list. Now if you don't mind I need to get back to some very important charity work' A pause. 2/2 'Elon, you know very well I don't have any rocket ships' Another pause. 'No Elon, my computer operating systems do not "smell of poo". Do grow up, you're 49 years old. I'm hanging up now Elon. Goodbye.' 10 minutes later the phone rings again. Bill sighs and shakes his head

Degen DeFi guy: Morning sir, could we purchase some $bree from you? #FarmerGerbil: We gots no bree but we do makes some fine cheese Degen DeFi guy: $cheese? What's that, a new token? #FarmerGerbil: Token? Er it's mature and strong Degen DeFi guy: Sounds good. Is there a Uniswap pair? #FarmerGerbil: Beg pardon? We don't grow pears. Degen DeFi guy: What's the liquidity of $cheese? #FarmerGerbil: Well you gots to keep it chilled Degen DeFi guy: You mean locked up? #FarmerGerbil: Beg pardon? Degen DeFi guy: Sorry, you are a YIELD farmer? #FarmerGerbil: What's that then? Degen DeFi guy: You know, putting crypto assets to work to generate returns on those assets potentially earning bonuses in the form of governance tokens and suchlike #FarmerGerbil: GET ORF MY LAAAANDD!!

1/3 #TheGerbilofHonour had only good intentions when he met with #DeFiGerbil and #ICOGerbil to discuss an idea. The project he then created with #FarmerGerbil was going well. Even #MoonGerbil and #100xLeverageGerbil said so and they we notoriously hard to please. 2/3 $Honour token was pumping. Let's do the maths, just for fun. Ooh he thought. In fiat terms, that's, wow!. I'd..never..have..to..work..again and the project IS starting to run into problems. It's not my fault #ZeroKnowledgeGerbil invested everything in this. 3/3 Am I really doing this? Maybe #CounterfeitGerbil can get me a new identity. ok, trading all of my $honour for a new life. Max the gas (#PendingGerbil wouldn't approve). Twitter gone. Website gone. #TheGerbilofHonour gone. What have I become? Oh of course, I'm #RugPullGerbil

#TheGerbilofWallStreet Since trading penny stocks, racking up commissions #TheGerbilofWallStreet is increasing his positions. BTC! he was an early adopter Now he's flying to the office in a mini helicopter. Etherium delirium he got in on that too so it's Rolex on his wrist and paws in Jimmy Choo. He's flipped more times than Pranksy, he's a true OG He even schooled Whaleshark on how to NFT. The party in his Metamask wallet is jumping Higher than the moon with his Alts a pumping. He's running with the bulls can't bear to be a bear So pay some respect to this gerbil Billionaire

1/3 #TheGerbilofHonour had only good intentions when he met with #DeFiGerbil and #ICOGerbil to discuss an idea. The project he then created with #FarmerGerbil was going well. Even #MoonGerbil and #100xLeverageGerbil said so and they we notoriously hard to please. @NonFunGerbils 2/3 $Honour token was pumping. Let's do the maths, just for fun. Ooh he thought. In fiat terms, that's, wow!. I'd..never..have..to..work..again and the project IS starting to run into problems. It's not my fault #ZeroKnowledgeGerbil invested everything in this. 3/3 Am I really doing this? Maybe #CounterfeitGerbil can get me a new identity. ok, trading all of my $honour for a new life. Max the gas (#PendingGerbil wouldn't approve). Twitter gone. Website gone. #TheGerbilofHonour gone. What have I become? Oh of course, I'm #RugPullGerbil

@NonFunGerbils 1/2 #LibertyGerbil wasn't born free. Her brother #FraternityGerbil didn't feel part or a community or brotherhood in his early life either. Likewise, her sister #EqualityGerbil started without the opportunities and privileges that most gerbils take for granted....

@NonFunGerbils @NASA @SpaceX @elonmusk #MoonGerbil is dreaming the same dream again.....'Houston, The Gerbil has landed....Eth is up 1000%...beep...It's one small step for gerbil.....a giant leap for gerbil-kind....Wait....What?....Houston we have a problem' He wakes. It's not real...again......'WEN MOOOOOON!!!!!!!!!'

1/3 No problem! @NonFunGerbils This clever little gerbil won't lose the seeds to his MEW which may or may not contain funds including funds on the polygon network because he wrote it down in a clever hidden message..... 2/3 Scratching his tiny 'foot' he watched the 'orange' sun rise in the 'april' sky. The birds on the 'runway' made a hasty 'retreat' at the sight of the plane. Although 'amused' his smile was 'hidden' like an 'actor' 'unable' to reveal his true self. 3/3 Damn this 'dry' weather. For some bizarre reason it always made him feel he wanted to 'gauge' the eyes out of a 'weasel' #TheGerbilWhoLostHisSeeds #Safu #rekt

1/2 Hey @NonFunGerbils Really excited about this one. Just sending my entry for #PendingGerbil but first wanted to say congrats for the great podcasts and for having @Hackatao involved. Very cool. Hoping mine makes the top 5 🙏. It was a tough one but anyway... #PendingGerbil ...

1/6 #PEPEgerbil looks down upon the object resting safely in their arms. Like always when this thing is taken in hand, its owner's eyes become glazed, and an enigmatic smile appears upon sausage-like lips. 2/6 What is this pretty thing? This fancy. Made of ancient looking glass and giving off a soft blue-green glow. A container maybe, a phial? A beautiful artifact in itself certainly, yet it's what lies within this vessel that is the true treasure. 3/6 Many cultures throughout the ages have a version of this potion. Some call it The Philosopher's Stone, Hindu scriptures talk of Amrita. In Mesopotamia, the Epic of Gilgamesh names this very tincture within its ancient verses. 4/6 #PEPEgerbil however has another name for this ethereal bitter black liquid. 5/6 This is their precious 'Elixir of Dankness'. One who takes a draught of this alchemy is granted the ability to create the very dankest of memes. Memes so powerful and virulent in their nature that they enter and inhabit the very soul of all they touch. 6/6 Another glance from #PEPEgerbil betrays in its expression the constant, overwhelming fear of losing the Elixir. At all costs, it must be kept safe, and it must be kept secret.

1/2 Dusk and the crickets chirped. #PrepperGerbil's features hard to read under the peak of his MAGA hat but if anything display the smugness that comes with being proven right. He was ready. His children had finished their daily crossbow training and his AR-15 cleaned and oiled. 2/2 Sat in the old rocking chair the screen door flapped and he glanced at the tattoo, his mantra. 'A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed'. "No Sir, it won't" he whispered.

1/2 A gerbil went all in on LUNA He thought it would go to the moona When he rose from his bed He found out instead That it crashed and he lost a fortuna #REKTgerbil 2/2 His sister has done more appraisals She'd traded it all into stables But the coin UST Had done so TERRA-bly She can only afford to eat bagels

1/3 You all under my influence, I'm a force of nature Started out as a fan, now I'm a creator I'm bringing some heat to this NFT scene This gerbil is more that an Instagram queen 2/3 My reach is growing I don't preach to the choir When I woke up this morning my bed was on fire Need fire-proof gloves to come near my flames You come for the looks but you stay for the brains. 3/3 The mercury's rising when I walk in the room. Mmm what's that smell? That's my range of perfume. The heat coming off me has gone geothermal. What did you expect? I'm #ThatsHotGerbil

#TheOrdinalGerbil another O.G. Ahead of the curve on BTC. This bitchin' inscription for all to see. Carved on the chain for eternity.

#TreasureHuntGerbil loves obscure references, especially ones that #Millennials are too young to remember. His obsession with the 80's British game show from which he took his name is reflected in his clothes (yellow jumpsuit) and his preferred mode of transport (helicopter) https://youtu.be/XhWNPqAd5Zs ScribasDotCom Treasure Hunt, UK TV Show, opening titles

1/3 #UnicornGerbil just wanted to be happy. He used to be an ordinary gerbil until he spent his life savings on the operation that promised everything. A little horn grafted onto his little gerbil skull. 2/3 Waking from the surgery and looking into the mirror for the first time he knew that finally he was something. Happiness at last. 3/3 The other single horned animals talked to him now. Accepted him..... At first. Now they laugh and mock like before. It's ok though, he has a plan. Saving up again. He'll become a unicorn gerbil, WITH WINGS!! Then he'll be happy.

Zero Knowledge Gerbil was a middle manager in a software company. Over the years he'd elevated his position with a series of unlikely promotions while other more talented gerbils were overlooked because they were actually good at the job they were doing. Today he'd gathered his team. ZK: Guys, we're getting left behind. We need to stay ahead of that curve, step onto a plate, blue sky, think out of the box. I've got two words for you..... Block chains !! I want our whole platform migrated to the blockchains by Christmas. New Dev Gerbil: But Sir, our databases process thousands of online transactions per second, typically inserting, updating and deleting small amounts of data and returning processed query results to the client in a timely manner. Are you sure blockchain is right for us? ZK: Have you not been reading the internet!? Block chains is the future and we need it now. Ok, meeting over. Report back when it's done. Other Dev Gerbils to worried New Dev Gerbil: Don't worry, we'll just do what we always do. Run around looking busy for a few weeks then tell him it's all done. Same as we did for his cloud computing project last year.

@NonFunGerbils #ForkingGerbil rolled over exhausted and uttered the immortal line

#TheWhiskeredShadow #SuperHeroGerbil He stands in the rain, cloaked, hooded. The roof overlooking a deserted alley. The time well after midnight. In the distance just visible, the Statue of Liberty Gerbil mocks the sense of freedom he's never felt. Riches yes. Power also, but alone, always alone. Closer to the lowlifes he's sworn to purge from the streets than to any so-called friends. Pain and fear grip him again as hazy memories of his parents swim into view. His parents, killed by a cryptocat. A Cat Woman. She had gotten into their cage somehow. Allowed in maybe?...But by whom? Earlier, the gloomy night was briefly lit by the glow of a gerbil shaped silhouette passing slowly across the sky. His signal. When was the last time I even smiled? he thought as one paw touched, through habit the outline of the concealed blade. The weapon, one of six he carried shaped to resemble himself in cold steel. A noise! Ears and whiskers prick up. The creature he's been waiting for finally opens a rusty back door and steps into the foggy alley. The creature who has only minutes to live. From his utility belt, he attaches a small grappling hook to a smoking chimney and gently abseils down the side of the building…. Inverted. His prey, sensing something, turns and is faced with....with what? With Justice. Or is it Vengeance? A scream doesn't come, only realisation that the end is close. The blade moves silently, stopping at a pulsing jugular. He manages 3 whispered words. 'Who are you?' A pause. 'I'm #TheWhiskeredShadow' breathes a husky voice, low and gravelly from lack of use. Duty and justice served he silently disappears back into the night.

Elon says I've got to get me a bag of that sweet sweet Doge. What's a gerbil to do? #FomoGerbil @NonFunGerbils